I’ve tried it. Once. Not one date, but one three-month period or whatever it is they suck you in with. Pay a million dollars for one month or half a million per month for three. You end up spending even more than you wanted to, and somehow feel like you got a deal. Until you try the damn service. Then you feel fucked.
I gave it countless emails, a few phone calls, and exactly three dates, or I mean, three strikes. The individual plays looked something like this:
Guy #1: We meet for coffee. He’s a half hour late and barely apologizes. We start talking about work. I mention I work near the World Trade Center. He tells me about conspiracy theories around 9/11. He knows someone who knew a lot about those buildings. I imagine that someone to be a janitor. He talks faster and louder about how it wasn’t a terrorist attack, and I wonder if I might attack him. Yes, everyone’s entitled to their opinions and theories. Unless you’re sharing them with someone who – for all you know – might have lost someone in that tragedy. And unless those opinions and theories are stupid.
Guy #2: We met for drinks at a bar in the neighborhood where we both live. When leaving, he insisted he walk me home, even though it was 10 degrees, and I was already hailing a cab. Then he insisted we stop by his apartment to get his dog so he could walk him at the same time. I stayed in the hallway while he got the dog and leash, and watched the dog jump all over him. They made out a little. Then, as we walked, his dog suddenly became trained enough to walk in a circle around us, pulling us into each other with the leash. “I guess we should kiss,” he said. “No.” “Why not? It will be fun.” “Not for me.” I’m sure his dog was more accommodating when they got home.
Guy #3: We met for appetizers. Not really what I would have selected, but then, he ordered before I got there. I didn’t order more because I wanted out of there. He walked with me to the subway station, trying to hold my hand. I made a mental note to only wear clothes with pockets from now on. He then told me that while it was probably too soon, he nfelt very close to me, so “I want to be open and honest with you from the beginning.” He then told me about how he did time for drug dealing. I tried to sound supportive, “Well, it wasn’t like it was to children.” And then thought, fuck the subway, I need a cab. Now. That wasn’t what I had had in mind for someone calling himself an “entrepreneur.”
Oh my God, that sounds hellish. Are you sure your life isn’t a sitcom?
I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a while and had results ranging from “get me the heck out of here” to totally awesome. Certainly it’s not something that I would pay for, but I use OK Cupid, which is free (I’m not an OK Cupid spambot, I promise).
There are crazies everywhere. Online dating makes it easier to weed them out.
I have a friend who uses that site and had positive things to say. Maybe I should try again… Or maybe not
I tried online dating, eHarmony and OK Cupid. eHarmony was a waste of money. I actually went out on a date with a guy from OK Cupid. He was nice, but not for me. In the end, I didn’t find that online dating exposed me to a different dating pool than what I would normally meeting day-to-day. I may try it again, but am not sure. I am glad that online dating isn’t as taboo as it was a few years ago. I don’t see any shame in it.
I blogged about it.
http://singleindependentsistah.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/confessions-of-an-online-dater/
No shame! But thus far, no results, either. I’m often reminded of the line from Jerry McGuire (a movie I’d otherwise forget) – when Rene’s talking about her most recent dates…”They were all a distant second to a warm bath and a good book.”
Or something like that.
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I was studying something else about this on another blog. Interesting. Your perspective on it is diametrically contradicted to what I read earlier. I am still reflecting over the diverse points of view, but I’m inclined heavily toward yours. And irrespective, that’s what is so great about modernized democracy and the marketplace of thoughts online.
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Funny. This is just a standard WordPress template – Digg 3 column. I wish I had design tools. Or skills.